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[personal profile] kilroy
I have work to do today. I have really important work to do today of which more should probably have been done last week. And I'm not doing it. I'm jittery, my chest hurts, and I can't concentrate.

There is no REASON for this. The work is not that difficult and no one is going to point the enormous finger of blame at me. But I still feel like an animal caught in a trap. There is physical anxiety here, almost enough to make my hands shake.

Days like this make me want to take every person who perpetuates the "Well, you can just take a deep breath and get over it!" idea without ever experiencing any form of mental illness and beat them over the head with a shovel. Days like this also make me want to crawl into a hole and hide until the apocalypse, when all my other problems become irrelevant.

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kilroy

January 2026

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