kilroy: (Default)
A little jumpy today. I'm vibrating and I can't seem to stop. Can't concentrate either. It's going to be a loooooong day.

On the plus side, Gunnerkrigg Court has shirts.
kilroy: (Default)
#303: Having amnesia doesn't automatically make you a gullible idiot. (Legend of the Seeker)

In other news, I spent this morning having my head scanned for radioactive particles. And I kept thinking to myself, "If they find something with this, I have cancer. If they don't find something with this, I'm still left hanging." This is entirely spurious, of course. The way the scan actually works means that there could be ALL SORTS of reasons for weird readings, and the few glances I caught of the glowing dot in my throat were probably just pictures of my thyroid and not a tumor, and the fact that the guy was very solicitous about making sure I was seeing a doctor to talk about the results is standard procedure and not an indication that he could tell from the scans that I'm going to die.

I think you get the idea of my mental state this morning.

Cue work. After a rough patch I get into my groove, get everything I'm supposed to do done, nail a bunch of Amber stuff I'd been meaning to get around to, and leave work feeling a little tired and fragile but much better than this morning.

I stop at the grocery store to get dinner and run into my education professor from ten years ago, who I idolized. And she a) calls me Dan b) says she's "very proud of me" when I tell her what I'm doing and obviously doesn't mean it and c) tells me about how awesome things are going for my classmates. I feel like a completely useless twat again in thirty seconds flat.

In my mind I've been building a list of things to do When I Get My Life Back. Right now I'm alternating between being angry and depressed because of the existence of this list, because people keep reminding me why I have it, and because there's a non-zero possibility that I might not live long enough to do most of it.


kilroy: (Default)

November 2016

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