State of the Union
Apr. 3rd, 2008 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kilroyTraditionally, my mid-year runs around three things: I run NormalView at the end of March, a Throne War on Labor Day weekend, and a short summer roleplaying campaign in between. However, I'm realizing something which will no doubt affect these things.
I don't have energy right now.
I didn't enjoy NormalView as much as I normally would have. The turnout was great, there were a ton of people I liked, and the movie selections were really good. I just didn't have the energy to really derive any sort of real satisfaction from it: the weekend left me feeling kind of empty, as if it were an obligation and not something I do because I like it.
It's really been hurting my creative output too-- one of the things I really wanted to do in this job was take time to write, but I can't even concentrate enough to read past a certain point in the day. My brain shuts down... or more accurately, it reaches a state of agitation that prevents me from doing anything useful. Outside of work, there are a ton of things I'd love to be putting some inspiration into-- particularly my Nobilis game-- but I feel like I've been treading water all semester.
Even playing City of Heroes last night I was sort of "bleh." Not because I'm getting bored with the game per se, but because I lack the energy to enjoy it fully. Talking to Jennie V. was all minimal responses, when usually it's verbal fireworks. I've been sitting on a sink of dirty dishes for two weeks because I can't get up the gumption to actually clean them.
I'm not depressed in the sense that I traditionally define it-- the word means a different sort of situation for me than the one I'm describing. I'm just... muddled.
Still, things need to change. I don't think I need to get a new job, but I do think I need to rearrange my life some. I'm not sure if I need more challenges, more free time, better physical health, a cleaner space, more social time, less social time, or what. Probably all of these things in their turn, actually. :)
But I'll be thinking about it. And probably posting. Advice and good will are both, of course, welcome.
I don't have energy right now.
I didn't enjoy NormalView as much as I normally would have. The turnout was great, there were a ton of people I liked, and the movie selections were really good. I just didn't have the energy to really derive any sort of real satisfaction from it: the weekend left me feeling kind of empty, as if it were an obligation and not something I do because I like it.
It's really been hurting my creative output too-- one of the things I really wanted to do in this job was take time to write, but I can't even concentrate enough to read past a certain point in the day. My brain shuts down... or more accurately, it reaches a state of agitation that prevents me from doing anything useful. Outside of work, there are a ton of things I'd love to be putting some inspiration into-- particularly my Nobilis game-- but I feel like I've been treading water all semester.
Even playing City of Heroes last night I was sort of "bleh." Not because I'm getting bored with the game per se, but because I lack the energy to enjoy it fully. Talking to Jennie V. was all minimal responses, when usually it's verbal fireworks. I've been sitting on a sink of dirty dishes for two weeks because I can't get up the gumption to actually clean them.
I'm not depressed in the sense that I traditionally define it-- the word means a different sort of situation for me than the one I'm describing. I'm just... muddled.
Still, things need to change. I don't think I need to get a new job, but I do think I need to rearrange my life some. I'm not sure if I need more challenges, more free time, better physical health, a cleaner space, more social time, less social time, or what. Probably all of these things in their turn, actually. :)
But I'll be thinking about it. And probably posting. Advice and good will are both, of course, welcome.