The Bad Movie Odyssey 2007, Part I
Dec. 19th, 2006 07:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kilroyAs NormalView looms in the distance, it's time for me once again to take up the mantle of festival coordinator and start watching bad movies to see what--if any--has the high quality of crap necessary to show to a few dozen of my friends. These are the movies I'm watching, and salient comments about each.
#1) BloodRayne
Reputed to be one of the worst movies ever made, BloodRayne's major issues fall into basically two categories: all the actors are channeling the traditional acting power of cardboard, and every single wound looks like something from a Troma film. There are more impalings in this movie than any I've ever seen, and at least as much fake blood as in the Evil Dead where it geysered out of the wall. That plus the least sexy sex scene I've ever seen (say that three times fast) make this unfortunately unsuitable for NormalView. On the other hand, my desire to witness further films by Uwe Boll has been curbed. Which is a plus.
#2) Mesa of Lost Women
If this one doesn't make it in this year, it'll make it in next. We have a one-eyed evil scientist who's doing experiments on spiders and humans, which always have one of three results: women with creepy regenerative abilities and no brains, midgets with no brains, or superintelligent giant spiders. Add in extreme close-ups in abundance, a two-riff mariachi soundtrack that literally doesn't quit for the entire movie, and one of the worst ethnic minority representations I've seen in some time, and you have a winner. Hooray for 50s Hollywood.
#1) BloodRayne
Reputed to be one of the worst movies ever made, BloodRayne's major issues fall into basically two categories: all the actors are channeling the traditional acting power of cardboard, and every single wound looks like something from a Troma film. There are more impalings in this movie than any I've ever seen, and at least as much fake blood as in the Evil Dead where it geysered out of the wall. That plus the least sexy sex scene I've ever seen (say that three times fast) make this unfortunately unsuitable for NormalView. On the other hand, my desire to witness further films by Uwe Boll has been curbed. Which is a plus.
#2) Mesa of Lost Women
If this one doesn't make it in this year, it'll make it in next. We have a one-eyed evil scientist who's doing experiments on spiders and humans, which always have one of three results: women with creepy regenerative abilities and no brains, midgets with no brains, or superintelligent giant spiders. Add in extreme close-ups in abundance, a two-riff mariachi soundtrack that literally doesn't quit for the entire movie, and one of the worst ethnic minority representations I've seen in some time, and you have a winner. Hooray for 50s Hollywood.