what the hell? 1-22-05
Jan. 22nd, 2005 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kilroyI don't understand me sometimes. The last week has featured a number of outstanding news items:
There were lots of little good things too: seeing Dan again, briefly, and being honest about how cranky I've been lately; drinking with Mel, Kathi, and Chas in an unexpectedly intimate and enjoyable evening; absolutely gorgeous snow; reading one of the best scifi novels I've encountered in years.
Yet I've still been paralyzed, cranky, and terrified, depending on the day. I didn't get paid this month for school ("You didn't work a full month yet!"), so looking at my bank accounts is a constant, reliable downer. I'm worried about teaching the ESL class: it's something I know I have the skills to do, but I've still never done it and that scares the hell out of me. My class is using this software package that's awesomely powerful, but I don't know fully how to use it yet, so I'm worried about getting that figured out. And, of course, I haven't been writing.
I spent most of this morning cleaning my room, and it's about two-thirds done. I've got the windows open so I can let in the light and watch the snow fall. I've been kicking around this brilliant idea for a one-shot scifi murder mystery in my head for a day or two. And I've still got plenty of time before the weekend's up to get everything I need done.
I just need to figure out a way to calm down long enough to do it.
- I concluded Saga after a hundred sessions or so, to my satisfaction as a GM and as an artist. It was a good ending, and appropriate.
- I found a part-time job that meshes with my current teaching schedule: teaching reading and vocabulary to ESL students in the area. I have a friend and an associate who've done the job before, and they recommended me for it. It'll get me out of The Hole.
- Picked up a book and a lead on what may very well be an entirely new job idea for me: screening movie scripts. This job in many ways sounds like the perfect use of my talents and passions, and it pays so much better than what I'm making now that it left my jaw dropped.
- Found out that my morning class has all the earmarks of Awesomeness.
- Got my class webspace approved and put up, although I still need to put it all together.
There were lots of little good things too: seeing Dan again, briefly, and being honest about how cranky I've been lately; drinking with Mel, Kathi, and Chas in an unexpectedly intimate and enjoyable evening; absolutely gorgeous snow; reading one of the best scifi novels I've encountered in years.
Yet I've still been paralyzed, cranky, and terrified, depending on the day. I didn't get paid this month for school ("You didn't work a full month yet!"), so looking at my bank accounts is a constant, reliable downer. I'm worried about teaching the ESL class: it's something I know I have the skills to do, but I've still never done it and that scares the hell out of me. My class is using this software package that's awesomely powerful, but I don't know fully how to use it yet, so I'm worried about getting that figured out. And, of course, I haven't been writing.
I spent most of this morning cleaning my room, and it's about two-thirds done. I've got the windows open so I can let in the light and watch the snow fall. I've been kicking around this brilliant idea for a one-shot scifi murder mystery in my head for a day or two. And I've still got plenty of time before the weekend's up to get everything I need done.
I just need to figure out a way to calm down long enough to do it.