Okay, this was definitely worth picking up

[kilroy]

From Eoin Colfer's "And Another Thing...", the authorized addition to the Hitch-Hiker's Guide:

Guide Note:
Toadstool mandarins are a form of toxic jellyfish whose tentacles are loaded with entheogenic venom. The effects of a mandarin sting are threefold. The first is a sharp stinging sensation; the second a nasty red welt, which may fester if not treated with a salve of toadstool mandarin doo-doo. And the third is a bolt of self-awareness, thanks to the entheogens in the venom. Having been stung, a victim's typical reaction will be something like:

Owww. Zark, that hurts.

Then:
Oh no. Look at this nasty red welt. I'm in the swimsuit competition later.

And finally:
What? I'm a latent misogynist with father issues!