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The Bad Movie Odyssey 2007, Part II
#3) Doom
I had high hopes for this one-- I mean, come on. Movie based on an FPS starring the Rock? Unfortunately, while the film was mostly unoriginal and the acting was relatively wooden, it wasn't actually that bad. I actually found myself amused and pleased by the "gun-cam" sequence, which is something I never thought I'd say. Not a movie I'd ever watch again, but it didn't have me doubling over in pain. Next.
#4) Reign of Fire
Recommended by a couple of friends, including J, and I believe directed by the same guy who did Elektra. This one had much the same problem as Doom, however-- it wasn't good, but it wasn't sufficiently bad either. The plot was contrived, but not enough to make more than two jokes. Matthew McConaughey's character was pretty ridiculous, but again not more than two jokes worth. People died, there was an unconvincing love story, and the heroes win at the end. Pass.
#5) Fortress
Now this one did a little better. Christopher Lambert is pretty reliable when he acts in English, and this movie is no exception. We have the dad from That 70s Show as an evil cyborg scientist; we have a movie almost entirely set in Stereotype Prison; and we have complete overuse of the word "intestinate," which they made up for this movie. Lots of silence, plenty of room for jokes, fairly ridiculous. The minuses are that it's a little gorier and a little sexier than I'm strictly comfortable with. Not too much so, and I'm sure our audiences could handle it, but I feel weird using a movie that they couldn't actually use on MST3K. We'll see on this one.
#6) Wrath of the Ninja
An animated film from the eighties featuring ninja wielding essentially the power of Akira and a heroine with polychromatic hair. Plot: makes no sense. American voice acting: terrible. Pauses for jokes: plenty. This one was pretty gory too, but I found myself laughing at the exploding heads rather than cringing as in Fortress. The violence is just too over the top and out of context to really offend. Also featured the line "then you ignoring your femininity must also have been fate," which is always a good sign. This one I think I could show. It may not be quite as bad as Baldios, but it's in the same league.
The quest continues.
Probable lineup so far:
Mesa of Lost Women
Wrath of the Ninja
Druids
Stealth
Battlefield Earth
I had high hopes for this one-- I mean, come on. Movie based on an FPS starring the Rock? Unfortunately, while the film was mostly unoriginal and the acting was relatively wooden, it wasn't actually that bad. I actually found myself amused and pleased by the "gun-cam" sequence, which is something I never thought I'd say. Not a movie I'd ever watch again, but it didn't have me doubling over in pain. Next.
#4) Reign of Fire
Recommended by a couple of friends, including J, and I believe directed by the same guy who did Elektra. This one had much the same problem as Doom, however-- it wasn't good, but it wasn't sufficiently bad either. The plot was contrived, but not enough to make more than two jokes. Matthew McConaughey's character was pretty ridiculous, but again not more than two jokes worth. People died, there was an unconvincing love story, and the heroes win at the end. Pass.
#5) Fortress
Now this one did a little better. Christopher Lambert is pretty reliable when he acts in English, and this movie is no exception. We have the dad from That 70s Show as an evil cyborg scientist; we have a movie almost entirely set in Stereotype Prison; and we have complete overuse of the word "intestinate," which they made up for this movie. Lots of silence, plenty of room for jokes, fairly ridiculous. The minuses are that it's a little gorier and a little sexier than I'm strictly comfortable with. Not too much so, and I'm sure our audiences could handle it, but I feel weird using a movie that they couldn't actually use on MST3K. We'll see on this one.
#6) Wrath of the Ninja
An animated film from the eighties featuring ninja wielding essentially the power of Akira and a heroine with polychromatic hair. Plot: makes no sense. American voice acting: terrible. Pauses for jokes: plenty. This one was pretty gory too, but I found myself laughing at the exploding heads rather than cringing as in Fortress. The violence is just too over the top and out of context to really offend. Also featured the line "then you ignoring your femininity must also have been fate," which is always a good sign. This one I think I could show. It may not be quite as bad as Baldios, but it's in the same league.
The quest continues.
Probable lineup so far:
Mesa of Lost Women
Wrath of the Ninja
Druids
Stealth
Battlefield Earth