In the books, they have a surprising amount of agency. They do things, they decide things, they matter. They run things. Not All The Things, but enough of the things. Interestingly, and I don't know how much the show will go into it, the ones who act as far outside the rules of the patriarchy (I'm going to make my own decisions! I'm going to declare war! I'm going to learn how to fight with a sword! I'm going to lead my people effectively!) are the ones who are most successful; those who willingly submit to it (I'm gonna be a pretty princess!) find themselves stripped of power, dignity, strength, everything.

I'm not saying the books are a total Feminist Utopia Of Equality And Goodness because several times I'm all in the "awesome fiction" groove and then GRRM does something very male-gaze-centered that pulls me out, makes me go "whhhhhhaaaaaaaaa--?", grosses me out, and makes me question if he's ever actually talked to a woman or been close to a woman. THE DUDE IS MARRIED, YET I QUESTION IF HE HAS EVER SEEN A FEMALE BODY UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL LIKE.