kilroy: (Default)
[personal profile] kilroy
For resignation: Mistral

I've generally been thinking of this phase of my life as a temporary detour-- something that will pass in a little while and then I can get back to the life I had before.

This morning I am realizing that this is nonsense, and obviously so. My circumstances are forging me anew into some other person, and even when the fire has died the shape will remain. I will carry the marks of this for the rest of my life.

It's not an inherently bad thing; life is change. But the me that survives this won't want the same things-- won't be capable of the same things-- as the me that preceded it. There is no going back.

Since college I've thought of my life in regenerations: versions of myself that die and give way to new interpretations. I believe this will be my fifth. Today I recognize the change for what it is. I have no idea who I'm becoming, but it will be something new.

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Date: 2015-11-18 03:12 pm (UTC)
cereta: Emmy Lou (ponder)
From: [personal profile] cereta
That is a very interesting way to look at it. I've found myself adopting the term "new normal" a lot lately, and trying to figure out what about my current circumstances might change, and what is simply my new normal. Your post makes me realize that for all the focusing I've done on my circumstances, I haven't thought much about who I am in this new normal. Thank you for giving me something to think about.

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